Moment of Truth Monday - "That's Not Very Smart!"

The boys were just looking over Johnny's Scholastic Book Order Form - it's one of their favorite things to do each month and they get as excited as they do when they look at the Target Christmas Catalog.

They each have different colored markers to make sure I am very sure of what they each want. James needs his to be darker and then also puts his initials next to everything he wants, even if Johnny marks it too, just so he can make sure he calls first dibs on it when it arrives.

The funny part about this monthly ritual is that James hates reading. It is a struggle every day to get him to open a book. The only books I can even get him to look at on his own are about wild cats or types of cars, and even then he continually complains that "reading always takes so long".

So I always get a kick out of listening to James give unsolicited book reviews to his brother based on the title or the picture on the front of the book. Tonight he gave such advice like "You don't want to read that! That kid is FLAT!" and "How can a WORM keep a DIARY?"

Then Johnny asked what "That is NOT a Good Idea" was about, and I answered from the kitchen that maybe it was a book about people doing things that they shouldn't have and caused problems because of it, thinking to myself that maybe it was like a watered-down kids' version of the Darwin Awards.

And all of a sudden James got really excited and yelled "YEAH MOM! Like Jack!"

Sure he was about to tell on his cousin Jackson for some random thing half a year ago, I bit my lip and asked what he meant.

"That kid Jack, who jumped over the candlestick! That was NOT very smart AT ALL!"

Maybe he really is reading some books on his own after all...

The Truth About Mondays

James nailed it.

Get Your Signs Right Dad...

Just in case you think we will ever get away with anything in this house...

Tony was looking at the new issue of Rolling Stone the other day, and he turned it around for James to see from across the room.



I could hear them talking about the picture. "Dad. That is a lot of tattoos. Do they come off when he takes a bath? They don't come off? At all? Ever? Even after a few weeks?" 
Humored, I kept cleaning. James went back to playing on the iPad.

Then Tony held it up again and pointed towards Ross' left arm. "Hey James, look, do you think he likes the Red Sox?"

James glanced up for 2 seconds and went back to the iPad. Matter-of factly he said  "Dad, that isn't a Red Sox sign. It's a Bentley sign".

Close up. I still don't know how he does it. The kid is good.



Moment of Truth Monday - Schooled again

We had a big party at the family cottage over the weekend, filled with lots of live music and visits from friends we haven't seen in ages. We had a fantastic weekend, but there was one specific moment that we all agree is our favorite.

At one point during the day, Tony and a few of our friends went for a walk around the neighborhood where they saw a really nice car. None of them had never seen anything like it before, so they stopped the driver to ask what it was, and they asked if he wouldn't mind driving it by the house so James could see it.

They knew James would want to learn what the rare car was.

A few minutes later, the car rolled slowly into view. We all stopped what we were doing to admire it as it approached.

But before any of us could even start to get the question "What IS that?" out of our mouths, James came running out the front door yelling "Mom! Dad! What is a Packard doing at our house?"

Moment of Truth Monday - The B Word

Everyone once in a while, six year old Johnny tries to see if I'll give him permission to say the forbidden words. A few months ago, he asked if he could say the "F" word out loud to me so he would know if he was saying it correctly, and then be able to successfully avoid saying it.

Tonight, driving to the social worker, it became clear that he was worried his older brother might also fall into the same trap.

Johnny: "Mom! Someone wrote the B word on the bus! But you know what? They spelled it wrong! They didn't spell it with the "t" in it, is was just spelled with the "ch" after the 'i'! But I KNEW what the word was. Do you know what it is Mom?"

Me: "I do know what the word is, Johnny."

James: "Can you stop talking now? You're bothering me! I don't even know what you're talking about."

Johnny: "Mom! JAMES DOESN"T EVEN KNOW! Can I explain to him that it is the bad word that starts with the "B" but it has an "i" and a "t" and THEN the "ch"? Just so he knows what the word is?"

Silent pause in the car...

"Mom? is it OK if I explain that to James so he knows?"

Then a little more quietly: "Oh. I just did, didn't I?"

Moment of Truth Monday - the Naughty List

Mondays' Moment of Truth Series: Because life with 2 literal children is full of those, um, insightful moments.

James asked for the movie "Elf" for Christmas this year.

It surprised me since he doesn't really like ANY movies or shows and never wants to watch them. Johnny loves them, so if we put on a show he spends most of the time climbing on and off his Dad or me, zipping back and forth through the room like a dragonfly, questions coming in rapid fire succession the entire time.

It is totally exhausting to watch a show with him, but it is always amazing (and often down right belly laughing) to hear how he interprets the things he sees and hears.

This comment of his was my favorite though, because it was so totally insightful and innocent and, well, just James.

He said it when Santa told Buddy that his Dad was on the Naughty List.

"I'm not going to care if I go on the Naughty list when I'm a grown-up, because grown-ups don't really get many good presents ever. Right Mom?"

Moment of Truth Monday - The Power of Words?

2 weeks ago today, James started crying when it was time for his homework. Since tears often accompany homework, I wasn't really surprised.

But then he got really upset and said "My homework made me sick. We started it in school and it made me really sick!"

Slightly confused, I looked in his backpack and laughed to myself when I saw the assignment. "James, your homework can't make you sick. Words can't make you sick. It's just a poem. Let's sit down and do it together".

James was so upset he could barely make it through the worksheet. We finally managed to finish it and I told him he could go play on the iPad while I made dinner.

He barely ate dinner, and an hour later wanted to go to bed. He was burning up. He spent the next 2 weeks out of school with pneumonia.

When he finally went back to school last Thursday, I told his teacher and we laughed. "Ah, the power of words" she said.

Power of words indeed. This was his homework:

Moment of Truth Monday - Giving Thanks

My amazing friend (read all about her and my autism mama friends who saved me here) owns the fabulous Sophia's Grotto and is sending out a card for Thanksgiving. She decided to make it from kids - straight out of the mouths of babes.  I'm pretty much ruining her plan by posting this, but you'll see why I had to use it for my "Moment of Truth Monday". AND I don't think any of her peeps will see this to know. If they do, sorry Sonia (with a silent cheer that people actually read this;)

So I asked Johnny Drama what he was thankful for. His reply was typical Johnny. "I'm thankful that I never got coal for X-Mas (yes, he actually calls it X-Mas) and I never will".



James' answer was, well, I have no words. This is his post tonight anyway.

Without hesitating, he said: "I'm thankful I got picked to be in this family".



Me too Buddy.  More than you'll ever know.

Moment of Truth Monday

Johnny, 6, asked if he could do the schedule for this week.

He thoroughly went through his week with everything important he had to do. When it was my turn, he helped me figure out what my week would look like.

Looking at my sparse duties for the week, I asked if we should add some chores.

He gave me that condescending look he perfected at age 4 and replied "um, Mom, you don't really DO any chores".