Moment of Truth Monday - "That's Not Very Smart!"

The boys were just looking over Johnny's Scholastic Book Order Form - it's one of their favorite things to do each month and they get as excited as they do when they look at the Target Christmas Catalog.

They each have different colored markers to make sure I am very sure of what they each want. James needs his to be darker and then also puts his initials next to everything he wants, even if Johnny marks it too, just so he can make sure he calls first dibs on it when it arrives.

The funny part about this monthly ritual is that James hates reading. It is a struggle every day to get him to open a book. The only books I can even get him to look at on his own are about wild cats or types of cars, and even then he continually complains that "reading always takes so long".

So I always get a kick out of listening to James give unsolicited book reviews to his brother based on the title or the picture on the front of the book. Tonight he gave such advice like "You don't want to read that! That kid is FLAT!" and "How can a WORM keep a DIARY?"

Then Johnny asked what "That is NOT a Good Idea" was about, and I answered from the kitchen that maybe it was a book about people doing things that they shouldn't have and caused problems because of it, thinking to myself that maybe it was like a watered-down kids' version of the Darwin Awards.

And all of a sudden James got really excited and yelled "YEAH MOM! Like Jack!"

Sure he was about to tell on his cousin Jackson for some random thing half a year ago, I bit my lip and asked what he meant.

"That kid Jack, who jumped over the candlestick! That was NOT very smart AT ALL!"

Maybe he really is reading some books on his own after all...

Quirky Quips & Backseat Banter - Presidential Disqualifiers

The public inclusion school that James attends in our district is second to none. After he was moved around to 3 different schools in the first 4 years, I fought like hell to get him into this one. It is the only school that is able offer the small and nurturing environment he needs to feel safe as well as the social, emotional and academic support he needs to be able to thrive. AND it goes through 12th grade.

Three years later, I still feel like I won the lottery every day.

They have an incredible (and FREE!) after-school program with fun activities focused on improving social skills. As much as James dislikes school work and being away from home, he has asked to stay late every day this year to participate in the after-school program.

Unbelievable, right? There must be a catch. Right?

There's always a catch...

It is clear across the city from where I live, so driving home at rush hour is a nightmare. Luckily there are a handful of kids from our side of town who go to school together, so my friend Patty and I set up an "after after-school" carpool to get them all home.

As you can imagine, if you drive a bunch of kids who have just been released after 8 hours of following rules and behaving in school and who are now crammed together in the back seat of a car to be stuck in traffic for 30 - 45 minutes, you are bound to get some pretty awesome sound bites.

Especially if most of those kids are literal thinkers who happen to be on the autism spectrum.

Patty was lucky enough to be driving the day of this fabulous interaction. She is also lucky she didn't pee her pants laughing...

Sean: "Justin Bieber can't be President of the United States because he was born in Canada."

James: "John Lennon can't be President either."

(slight pause)

"Because he's dead."

(longer, seemingly reflective pause)

"Being dead is lame."

All kids in rare agreement: "yeah, it is SO lame!" 

Election Hearsay from the Backseat

I'm thinking Tony and I are going to need to do a much better job teaching the boys about sex than we have about politics if the conversation in the back of the car today is any indication...

James' friend Sean upon seeing an Elizabeth Warren sign: "I do NOT want Elizabeth Warden to win".

James: Why? Do you want Obama to win?"

Johnny" "Right, because he needs to beat Scott Brown".

Sean: " I DO want Obama to win." (starts "Four More Years" chant. My boys join in. I feel pride.). "But I don't want Warden to win. And besides, that's a TOTALLY different contest. Warden is running against Scott Brown for the Massachusetts US Senate" (at this point I start thinking that his parents are doing a way better job than me teaching their son about politics)

And then he continues and I suddenly feel much better... "It's not Brown that's the bad guy! Romney is the one who wants to get rid of Cartoon Network!"

James and Johnny both, voices tinged in fear: "WHAT?"

Johnny (now completely irate at the thought of his beloved network gone): "WHO would want to get rid of Cartoon Network? WHY would he do that? But it has the BEST shows! He couldn't really, could he?"

Sean: "I don't know, but that's what Gabe told us, so it must be true."

Johnny: "But some kids make mistakes sometimes, at least a lot of the kids in my class except me do, so maybe he's wrong." (Now I'm both wondering where my son's "god complex" came from and thinking I'm going to hear a concerned "really, mom? Is it true?")

Nope...

James: "Yea, let's ask (classmate) Brendan on Monday. He'll DEFINITELY know".

Moment of Truth Monday - the Naughty List

Mondays' Moment of Truth Series: Because life with 2 literal children is full of those, um, insightful moments.

James asked for the movie "Elf" for Christmas this year.

It surprised me since he doesn't really like ANY movies or shows and never wants to watch them. Johnny loves them, so if we put on a show he spends most of the time climbing on and off his Dad or me, zipping back and forth through the room like a dragonfly, questions coming in rapid fire succession the entire time.

It is totally exhausting to watch a show with him, but it is always amazing (and often down right belly laughing) to hear how he interprets the things he sees and hears.

This comment of his was my favorite though, because it was so totally insightful and innocent and, well, just James.

He said it when Santa told Buddy that his Dad was on the Naughty List.

"I'm not going to care if I go on the Naughty list when I'm a grown-up, because grown-ups don't really get many good presents ever. Right Mom?"

Moment of Truth Monday - The Power of Words?

2 weeks ago today, James started crying when it was time for his homework. Since tears often accompany homework, I wasn't really surprised.

But then he got really upset and said "My homework made me sick. We started it in school and it made me really sick!"

Slightly confused, I looked in his backpack and laughed to myself when I saw the assignment. "James, your homework can't make you sick. Words can't make you sick. It's just a poem. Let's sit down and do it together".

James was so upset he could barely make it through the worksheet. We finally managed to finish it and I told him he could go play on the iPad while I made dinner.

He barely ate dinner, and an hour later wanted to go to bed. He was burning up. He spent the next 2 weeks out of school with pneumonia.

When he finally went back to school last Thursday, I told his teacher and we laughed. "Ah, the power of words" she said.

Power of words indeed. This was his homework:

Moment of Truth Monday

Johnny, 6, asked if he could do the schedule for this week.

He thoroughly went through his week with everything important he had to do. When it was my turn, he helped me figure out what my week would look like.

Looking at my sparse duties for the week, I asked if we should add some chores.

He gave me that condescending look he perfected at age 4 and replied "um, Mom, you don't really DO any chores".