Wordless Wednesday- Here We Go Again...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Moment of Truth Monday - All Done

One summer before the kids were born, we went camping just about every weekend. At the end of the summer, a group of us were driving home on Labor Day and decided to stop off at a random lake along the road. 

We swam, played Frisbee, and then sat around relaxing and drinking a few well concealed beers.  I remember we weren't talking very much - we were just soaking up as much of the afternoon sun as we could.

Then all of a sudden, a friend looked at his watch, then stood up and said "Well, that's it. Summer's over." We declared him a "complete buzz kill", but we all knew he was right, so we just got up and gathered our stuff to continue the ride home.

Labor Day is a frustrating holiday to me. I put pressure on myself to get as much out of the day as possible, knowing it is considered the last hurrah before "real life" starts again, but as much as I try to suck out of the day, I can never fully enjoy it because I don't want to let go of Summer's freedom.

So today, after driving 1 1/2 hours home from our weekend trip and finally dealing with the school supply shopping I'd put off until the last possible minute, I was frustrated and felt the need to go to our pool one last time. The boys didn't want to go, but I convinced Johnny saying his BFF would be there and it would be the last swim of the summer with his friends. 

We were late, and his friend was leaving as we walked in. Actually, most everyone was leaving. I thought Johnny would be upset that none of his friends were there, but he seemed completely fine and jumped right in.

"Watch me do this handstand underwater Mama!" 

I'm going to do the obstacle course! Time me!"

"Mom, here are my goggles. I'm going down the waterslide!"

I watched him play happily, and I thought about how I had stressed to him before we went that it would be "the last time for the summer". 

I wondered why I felt the need to make sure he knew this afternoon had to be any different than all the others he spent playing at the pool. He clearly didn't feel any pressure to make a big deal out of it, he was just playing. Like any other summer day. 

Knowing that standardized testing, homework, harried schedules and all things completely out of his control are coming up in the next few weeks, why would I try to make him start thinking about anything other than enjoying summer?

So I turned my chair towards the afternoon sun, and sat back and read my book, and I let him go. 

About 1/2 hour later, he walked up to me and said "I'm all done Mom. I'm ready". 

I got up and gathered our stuff and we walked out together. Pausing at the front desk, we said goodbye and thank you to the staff we had seen almost every day this summer. And as we walked away, Johnny turned back one last time and announced to us all: "I can't wait for school to start Wednesday! It is going to be awesome!"

And THAT was a great way to end Labor Day. For both of us.

Searching for a Friend

I'm searching for a friend. Maybe you've seen her?

I haven't met her yet, but I have an idea what she looks like. James reminds me incessantly of my mission. She is 2. She is not too big or too small - she is just the right size. She is black (well, it is ok if she is mostly black.)

I know what she will do. It's all very clear. She will run around a lot and do silly things. She will play with James and Johnny in the yard. Mostly she will be with James. She will sleep with him and comfort him when he wakes up anxious in the middle of the night. She will be there when he needs a friend to talk to or sit quietly with.

And she will completely ignore both cats.

I definitely know what she WON'T do. She absolutely will not eat Fluffy, Johnny's almost real stuffed kitty. She won't eat any of Fluffy's friends either. And of course she won't bark, jump, nip or whine too much. She won't mind sharing James and Johnny with a houseful of friends jumping and screaming and laughing and playing, and she won't get nervous when kids flap or make sudden noises or run back and forth across the room like squirrels.

I know. Good luck, right???

But here's the thing. Years ago, we noticed that James' mind stopped racing and his anxiety was visibly decreased when he was around dogs. Big dogs. Labs. He immediately went from completely out of sorts to calm and relaxed just by petting a dog. But with two older cats in the house, a  less than enthusiastic husband and a skittish younger brother, getting a dog for James wasn't a viable option. I tried to push it for a while, and then gave up.

James didn't however. His interest in dogs grew over the years. He started asking to drive by the off leash park on the way to school, and he kept a mental inventory of what kinds of dogs played there and when. James delighted in playing with friends' dogs. He would empty a huge basket of tennis balls all over the back yard for one lucky lab each time we went over to their house, giggling and flapping as Buddy would chase each one. He would go across the street just to pet Lola, and run back and forth in front of our neighbor's yard so their German Shepherd could run along side.

And then this past July we went to visit my sister and nephews in California. That story in pictures to come soon (I promise) but for now I need to focus on the task at hand. Because for three magical weeks, this is what I watched:

Gypsy. James' new best friend.

Johnny isn't skittish any more!

We've been back for more than a month and now both boys are constantly begging for a dog. James is stopping dog owners with a barrage of questions about age, breed, silliness level and bark frequency. All data is compared to Gypsy, his new best friend benchmark. The deer-in-the-headlight look I see in each of those unsuspecting people turns into amusement and understanding when I explain that James very much wants a dog. James rushes to explain EXACTLY what his dog will be like and that look becomes one of thoughtful mentor as each provides details, encouragement and (thankfully) responsible advice.

Having a dog is going to be a big adjustment for our family, and I know it is going to take a lot of time and care to find her, but I am lucky to have friends with a lot more experience and insight than I do who immediately stepped up and are helping me search. With their help, and with yours (if you know the dog described above who is waiting for an adoring new best friend) we'll find her.

And this new friendship is going to be totally worth it.